Hello future, goodbye past.

It's finally the time of the year when I start to reflect upon all the things I've done in the past 12 months, and realise that 2013's probably the best and the worst year for me. It might come across to some of you like, "Why is it your best AND your worst?" 

Well, it's the year where some of the most important people left my life, and also the year that taught me the most.

2012 didn't exactly start off on the right note for me, had a fight with my dad over the most trivial matter which kinda screwed up all of our New Year's eve, right before the countdown in Bangkok. It wasn't long before I fell out of a relationship in May, and was completely devoured by the pain I had to deal with. Everything in my life at that point was a complete blur, it had such a detrimental impact on all aspects of my life... I felt so broken. I've never been the most positive person to begin with, and that totally screwed me over. However, life goes on. It made me realise if someone wants to change, they will. And no matter how hard you try to stop that from happening, it's only gonna bring you more disappointments. 

It's undeniable that I've changed a lot since then as well, I even got my second tattoo, 

which a lot of you have been asking me to share the meaning behind it. XVII stands for 17, and IX stands for 9, in Roman numerals. It signifies the anniversary date of my last relationship.

Many may ask, "What's the point of it when it's over?" 

Well, this relationship means a lot to me, and will always be kept close to my heart. Having the date tattooed was in remembrance of what it has taught me, and the reason behind why I had it crossed out was to remind myself that it belongs to the past now. 

Moving on was the toughest thing I've ever done in my whole life, it was worse than any of my previous relationships, but I swear I've never been stronger.

I've always been pretty independent, but I tend to be reliant on those people who I feel really attached to.

I constantly felt deprived of company... I rely on everyone I got close to, until a point where I started to feel like I was being a burden, and that was when I tried to shut everyone out. 

I felt lost. 

But I picked myself up after awhile and started to pay less attention to such frivolous issues. I started school with no intentions of making new friends, I didn't wanna get hurt again, nor did I wanna hurt anyone.

I thought to myself on the first day of school, "I'm just gonna focus on my studies. If I make any friends along the way, it'll just be a bonus."


Personally, I feel like 2013's the year filled with so much tears, anger and drama. I had more than 5 friends who got out of a long relationship, there were so much drama going online, the haze, the sudden deaths of many, the riots that broke out recently... 2013 went by like a flash before my eyes.

It's coming to an end, but things that happened 6 months ago, felt like they just took place a moment ago.


Here are some pictures taken this year.

Going blonde.

Chinese New Year.

My birthday.

ABTM's Gala.

Filming for Singapore Celebrity Harlem Shake

Turning green.

USS with my girls.

Ghost Child's Gala.

Grandma's 80th.

My first flea.

Night Safari

Mae's 18th Bday/GC Weekends

Hong Kong trip.


Joanna and Shanice.

Picking my outfits for Asia's Style Collection.

First day of school.

School's Fun day.


BFF's 17th bday.

Sydney trip.

Of course, the last eventful occasion was Xmas, which I guess there's nothing much to talk about since I already did, in my past few posts. It was my worst Xmas in my entire life, but from what happened, I've learnt another lesson. Which brings me to my next point.

Remembering a year ago, I wrote a post like this and I ended it off with a new motto in life, "Do what makes you happy and make sure you don't live with regrets." I'm really glad I managed to live by it this year.

I didn't allow my fear and ego to be a hinderance to the things I really want to do. I'm pretty much someone who doesn't give up easily on things that I want, but there's something I realised over the years.

Yea, I know they say, you've to fight for your own happiness, and that's what I've always been trying to do... But it should never be that hard. If the other party's not trying at all, there's no point clinging on to something that doesn't belong to you. You just have to realise that maybe that isn't the right happiness for you.

There will come a point in your life when your priorities are bound to change, and the people who love you enough will embrace your changes and learn to accept you, and similarly, those who don't would leave eventually.

After the break up, I've learnt to take a lot of things in life more seriously, my parents suddenly became extra important to me, I started to cherish everyone around me more and began to like having alone time just watching television and having good food, staying fit... And the happiest thing was scoring 3.7 for my GPA and learning a lot more new things.

My life became more meaningful, even though at times I still struggle between many of the things in life, I'm still learning to be a happier person.

The past few days might have been really bad for me, but I know I'm not giving up that easily.

Before I end this off, I'd like to take this chance to thank all my readers and followers for all the support you guys have given to me over the past couple of months, especially when I was at my lowest. I've been receiving so many emails, tweets, messages of encouragement... And every time I read them, tears will start to well up in my eyes. Thank you for sticking by me after so long, standing up for me when I get hated on, sending your regards to me when I'm feeling down. I'm really grateful for all your love and concern. Virtually, or physically. If it wasn't for you guys, I might not even have survived in this industry until this day. I don't know what I could do for you guys, but I promise I'll get better and work harder for you and myself.

I really hope I'll get a chance to meet all of you in 2014 and thank each of you face to face, as of now...

I'm ready to accept new challenges, brace myself, and welcome the new year.

I know it's still pretty early, so let's bask in the greatness of our last two days of 2012! In case I don't get to update again before the 1st, Happy New Year to all of you.

P/s So many things have changed, but nothing can be compared to my ever-changing hair colour lol.