Peer Pressure

So how many of us actually allow our peers to have an impact on us?

Peer pressure - To put it bluntly, it's bullsh*t. Yeah, people can make things available to you, or tell you how awesome something is, but in the end, it’s not peer pressure, it’s your choice.”

Today I'm gonna share with you guys the negative effects of peer pressure and how you're suppose to overcome or deal with them.

Before I start, bear these few things in mind:

• No one can force you to do something you don't want to do; It's just how much you allow yourself to be influenced.

• There's no one in the world you should try to impress before you learn how to love yourself for who you are.

• You don't have to do something out of your comfort zone just because everyone else is doing so.

• Stand up for yourself by learning how to say NO.

Stop talking to people you don't feel like talking to.

Stop buying things you can never afford.
Stop doing something you hate doing.
Stop allowing someone to control your life.

Stop trying to be someone you're not.

Here are some real-life scenarios that my friends, or myself encountered before..

a) I was afraid that they might think I am a loser.
Smoking, taking drugs, getting into fights - Basically to sum it up, many people tend to do things nowadays because they feel like if they don't, no one will include them.

Example: Guy X 15 yr-old was hanging out with a bunch of older friends that drink and smoke etc; Everyone around him was teasing him about how young he was. This made him feel sore. To prove them wrong, he thought that if he did something "courageous" they might probably have a different view towards him. He joined in.

Consequences? Addiction or even getting charged for his illegal act. 

b) I feel out of their league.
I guess this is the most common situation. It's like you start changing yourself just to fit in.

Example: Your friends hate this person who has never offended you in any way before, but you felt like you were obliged to do so too otherwise they'll turn their backs against you. Hence, you got yourself influenced and started to hate on this person too.

c) I wanna look good.
I don't know since when did this started, but I realize the number of people who are starting to feel really cautious about their appearance are escalating dramatically. I've nothing against it, I do too. But sometimes they take it too far and end up doing really silly things against their will.

Example: I think skinny looks good." I have no idea why are so many people suffering from the "Binge-purge syndrome" (Bulimia) and Anorexia nowadays.

***I'm not talking about those people who are born naturally thin. I do know of people who eat like an elephant but could just never ever gain any/much weight.

I'm talking about those people who are obsessed about being skinny because they think they are "Fat" or they are just really self conscious about their size even though they are perfectly fine.***

I won't deny I am, occasionally. I do feel like I've gained weight from too much intake of McDonalds and Pizza, and I feel the need to tone up and slim down. But I don't mean go all like "I think I need to stop eating" when you're like...

I love food. And I think people who stop eating are silly. Of course I'm not saying that you've to take 10 McSpicies everyday. I'm just saying...

You think this is pretty?

Stop trying to be perfect because no one can ever be!!!

If you wanna slim down, by all means go ahead! But do it the healthy way and not by starving and purging. 

Love yourself for who you are and most importantly, stay healthy!!! Aspire to be fit not a pack of bones.

Definitely, I know most of us felt this way before...

But firstly, question is even if you feel good about being part of this clique... Have you lost yourself? Have you changed into a completely different person, going against your own principals just so you could fit in? Are you genuinely happy about this change?

Secondly as cliche as it sounds, if those friends that you're hanging out with are really your true friends, why would they make you change? Unless if it's for the better, of course. They should be accepting you for who you are instead of forcing you to turn into a completely different person.

Thirdly, you should never feel like you have to please everyone just to make them like you. I've been there, done that and I learned that I should find friends who will like me for me and not who I was trying to be.

Pretending is tough and it makes you unhappy. So why pretend? Unless you're some stubborn dickhead who causes trouble and refuses to take in any good advices from people who care about you and want the better of you, I don't see why you should ever change yourself.

Thereafter, I will always get people asking me this "But what if I can never find a friend?"
My answer is, you will. One day, you'll find someone who will accept you for who you are if you learn how to love yourself. True friends come and never go.

Anyway, here are some tips on how you could handle situations above:
(You can always reject offers nicely btw, I believe no one will hate you for that. Even if they get mad, they'll get over it.)

Stand up for yourself
•  Explain your reason(s).
• Suggest doing something else instead.
• Ask them to consider you position when they try to influence you.
• Stay away from friends who have a negative influence on you.

• Communicate effectively, you will have fewer misunderstandings as good  communication strengthens friendships.

• During conflicts, rephrase what your friends say in your own words to assure them that you have been listening to them.

• Give feedback in a calm and gentle tone to avoid sounding confrontational.
• Use “I” and “Us” more than “You” when stating your opinions.
• Using “You” often may be interpreted as critic

Interested to find out more about this topic? Then I think you should totally check out the new CLICK web episodes on every Tuesdays and Friday, 6pm!

So basically the web episodes are about a bunch of ordinary teens who are going through what we normally have to face. It really makes me look forward to watch them because I find them so relatable or rather true. They may not be the things I've encountered before but at least I have friends who did. Sometimes, it's hard to know what you're doing and whether they are right or wrong when you're in the situation yourself, but when you see it from a third person's pov, you could probably then see things from a clearer and bigger image.

Whether your experiences are good or bad, use them to improve yourself and not against you. When you make mistakes, learn from them, move on and don't repeat them.

For more resources, visit the newly revamped

And like any other ordinary teen, I do face problems trying to deal with my peers as well. I've a lot of fears and things that I do just to make sure that I don't feel excluded. Stay tuned for my upcoming video on how you could build your self esteem!

Do hope that what I shared today might be useful to some of you! :)