Red Chapstick.


One of the easiest word, with the most sophisticated definition.

So well what's love to you guys? I guess to me, love is like an investment. You've to invest a huge amount of effort, time, maybe money at times... Yet you've to risk having nothing back in return. In worse scenarios, you'd even lose whatever you had initially, and that alone might probably be strong enough to scar you for life and stop you from ever believing in love again.

You either become stronger or weaker after hurting.

Personal experience, skip this part if you want to.
For me, I wasn't that tough at heart to put myself through all these stupid pain once more, I experienced it more than three times and I guess it was enough to build up those walls around me. I've learned not to entrust my heart to someone that easily anymore. Take it as I'm really selfish, to shut myself down and have prejudice against all guys just because of the past. But well, I'm drowned in fatigue; the languor of having to put my happiness in jeopardy. Until today, I have not managed to find someone that's able to replace the love I once had. I've been searching for that same old feeling, but it seems like we can all only truly love one person, once in our entire lives, either that or I might not have met my Mr.Right yet. 

As the saying goes, it's better to have no one than to be with the wrong one. I'm aware of the fact that half of me is still held back by the past, and I'm still unable to move forward. However, neither am I overwhelmed with keenness to get my heart attached or take the gamble for another broken heart. Cos it had been smashed, thrown, stabbed, stolen and disintegrated. I guess it's close to impossible to give it out when it's not back in a whole yet. 

I'm pretty terrified. I still believe, after hitting rock bottom so many times, true happiness would find it's way to me one day. I've stopped searching, for I know it would come naturally, even if it doesn't... Who says we can't live without a soulmate? Time would heal all wounds. I'm sure that I'm not the only person who faced all these shit before nor have I gone through the worst, for what I've been through might just be some minor setbacks in life. But well... It's ruining my impression on all guys, and if it continues I think I'll triple the chance of having more wrinkles in future. -Rewritten from one of my formspring replies about 7months back.

So this part would be more of my personal opinions on love.
Before I start, I've to make a disclaimer that I'm not trying to act like some love guru or shit, just sharing my thoughts ok!

Doesn't it suck at times to realize you guys weren't meant for each other after placing your heart, your mind, your soul and everything in. It's like, "what the...... fuaaack is this?! You fucken fate, you allowed me to meet him/her then you end up telling me we can never be together?! Fuuuuuu. If that's the case, why did you even bring us together in the first place?? TOTAL SENSELESS." Ikr, things always cork up. Well, but in love everyone come and go. We can't expect everyone to stay forever, whether they remain alive or not when they leave... 

Girls: Well, I guess every girl has their own ideal macho guy. As for me, I just seek for guys that are able to give us a very strong sense of security, guys that are reliable/trustworthy. But after all, what matters most is your love towards him I guess.

I must confess, girls may have a million and one points to their perfect guy. BUT, the thing about girls... They can easily settle down for any guy that they love even if he doesn't fullfil all her requirements.

Things like...

Are just really superficial things that every girl yearns for.

& yea, girls may be hell sensitive, unreasonable, annoying, naggy, hard to please at times... But guys, have you ever thought that blaming a girl for acting this way is like blaming her for loving you too deeply?

Of course I'm aware of certain handful of girls that are just fucking demanding in terms of their personality. And as a girl, I find myself really indecisive and fickle minded too, which I agree is pretty annoying. Girl: *Upset* Guy: "Are you okay? What's wrong?" Girl: "Ya I'm alright, nothing." Guy: "Okay then." Girl: WHY DIDN'T YOU PERSIST ON ASKING?! You idiot, I'm not okay!!!! *Gets mad*

Admit it girls, you know how weird you are at times, to the extend you feel so fucked up on your own. Blame it on girls for not being straightforward, for giving hints all the time... Blame it on guys for being too shallow, for not being able to see through us. ONE WORD, COMMUNICATION.

Seriously, talking things out in a relationship is like fucking important. If you wanna hint your boy all day and get pissed when he doesn't get you... Then you should slap yourself in the face. GUYS WILL NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WANT, UNLESS YOU SAY IT, period.

Guys: What I want to say is... Please use the word "love" wisely. Sometimes, just because of your careless act of flirting, can lead to a whole load of misunderstandings. If you don't like her, if you don't plan to get with her, make sure you tell her so. Don't have that mindset that it will hurt her.


Don't you think it will probably hurt her MORE if she finds out later that you don't, after you led her on?! Please, don't use the word love like how you use your toilet paper; Do all that bullshit and flush it down the bowl as if nothing had happened. Be RESPONSIBLE.

Yea, of course I'm aware not all guys are douche bags, and there are girls who are like that too. SO before you start calling me sexist or whatever shit, shut up and listen... If you wanna get into a relationship, be prepared to commit and lose at least 50% of your freedom. If you're not ready, STAY THE FUCK SINGLE. Simple as that. Don't cheat, don't play, don't mingle when you're attached, for god's sake!

Ok, I don't wanna make this post too long. I just wanna last mention the word CHERISH. C'mon, if you met a guy/girl that's able to tahan all your flaws and horrible temper, thank lord and stop asking for more. Learn to accept them for who they are if you really love them and don't take them for granted.

Everyone has their own tolerance level, don't regret when it's too late. Don't cry and rant all day when they leave if you're the one who pushed them away.

The thing about girls, they are often insecure about their looks, love, friendship and all. So guys, as your role of being a good boyfriend, be nice and constantly remind her of how beautiful she is, and how much you love her. Some girls on the surface may look strong, but in fact every girl has their vulnerable side to them. Simple words can hurt a lot.

Not all girls are materialistic, it's not always about the big diamonds and money, sometimes it's purely sincerity and the thought that counts. Put in the effort to make your girl feel like the only princess you'll go for when there are a million other hotter chicks out there.

Girls, on your hand, sometimes all it takes is to show your appreciation towards him, and learn to be understanding. Guys LOVE understanding girls. If he didn't lose your trust before, don't make him feel like a criminal.

How to move on from breakups, OR leave the old one behind and start anew with the next one that's able to complete your life? - Stay tuned! Next topic entry. 

Spent my first Saturday of the year with fiddyyyyy. Ok, I went to longboard around pasir ris~ And we went to star gaze at night!!!! WHOOOO. Awesome time. Ok, shouldn't strain your eyes any further! Will update again soon after my photoshoot on Thursday! Till then.