They say, "expect the unexpected," but I guess one of the things that you can hardly foresee is the extent one can go when they start feeling attached to someone.
To me, attachment is actually worse than falling in love. Cos falling out of love hurts, but trying to detach yourself from something/someone you're already so used to having around you... Eats you alive.
We meet new people every once in awhile, and I guess never have we imagined how someone could somewhat, miraculously turn into a person who would mean so much to us, all of a sudden.
We start talking to them almost every single day, have long phone calls till we fall asleep at night, all the "goodnight" and "good morning" messages, going on dates, missing that person the moment you guys are separated at the end of the day, a simple text from them could change your mood instantly, the things they say could easily keep you thinking all day, you start learning to trust and believe in this person, feelings begin to kick in, you guys become closer... From friends to lov... Maybe not.
I guess that sucks; an awkward status of "almost dating," everything starts to fall apart after you've developed your feelings for someone who doesn't actually feel the same way you do.
"I thought... but" isn't that always the case??? "I thought blablabla could be trusted, but..." "I thought blablabla was the right one, but..."
This is what I loathe; thoughts and feelings.
Thinking it was mutual when it's not, feeling it was right when it isn't.
You start living in self-denial, convincing yourself you're fine, until you realise how attached you actually were... Initially, it is like the calm before the storm, it's only when reality starts to settle in after the first couple of days... You then begin to feel uneasy without their presence, their texts, their calls... That's the sucky part of attachment to me.
Getting used to someone, having them there all the time... And when they are gone, it feels like you've lost a part of yourself.
Yeah, it has come to a point where this actually scares me; it scares me to start getting close to someone, because the thought of them walking out and leaving all these memories behind to haunt me, it's just petrifying - You don't feel like doing anything, your thoughts are all over the place... Oh man, I bet someone's able empathise with me.
But I guess everything will be okay at the end of the day. Looking back at a year ago, the things that happened on this date... I bet you couldn't even remember what you had for lunch, like how I didn't think I'd still be alive and kickin'?
If you're feeling down today because of something or someone that's not worth brooding over, think about how much better you'd be if you could stop allowing it to affect you.
Make yourself happy and conquer the situation... Don't let it control you.
I don't know what's with all my random thoughts these days, but to compensate for the lack of updates over the past 2 days... Here are some pics!
Address: 2 Handy Road
Dhoby Ghaut, Orchard
Telephone: 6737 8772
Business hours: Mon - Thu: 11:30 am - 9:30 pm
Fri - Sat: 12:00 pm - 10:00 pm
Sun: 11:30 am - 9:30 pm
Address: No.2 Handy Road
Telephone: 6733 8089
Business hours: Mon - Sun 11.00 am - 10.30 pm
Address: Naomi's house
Telephone: 6666 6666
Business hours: When I feel like it.
Fish Mart Sakuraya
Address: #B1-83D, Parkway Parade, 80 Marine Parade Road
Business hours: Mon - Thu: 11:00 am - 9:30 pm
Fri: 11:00 am - 10:00 pm
Sat: 11:00 am - 10:00 pm
Sun & PH: 11:00 am - 9:30 pm
First two days of school were really exhausting, because of how tired I am from gym the nights before and insufficient sleep. Gotta rest early today. On a brighter note, I absolutely enjoy being in school. Mainly because I've learnt a lot of new stuff I've interest in. I suspect my friends think I'm a freak.
Great meal with my classmates after school today too!!! Loving Thai food is one thing, loving this place that serves the perfect Thai food is another. Even though it's such a pain in the ass how my school has limited amount of food, I feel fortunate that this is located just across the road.
Thai Gold Food (Sbey Sbey)
A must try if you're looking for cheap and good Thai food in town!!!
Address: 91 Bencoolen Street #01-14/22 Sunshine Plaza Singapore
Telephone: +65 9014 3218
Business hours: Mon - Thu: 12 pm – 1 am