To me, you've always been the man that I look up to, the only man that I believe will never ever leave me in the lurch even if all the guys in the world decide to leave me with a broken heart, and the only man who makes me believe that I'll be able to find my prince charming one day.
I'm pretty sure that one day the right guy will come, and he'll take up those responsibilities of yours. I may love him a lot, and he could end up being the guy who's gonna put the ring on for me, the guy that you'll entrust me to. However, I'd like to give you my word, and also take this chance to remind you that no matter what happens, no one can ever replace your position in my heart.
And that's just how important you are to me.
You wanna know who's my first love? It's you.
Since young, I've always had a really strong connection with my dad. To me, he's just like a brother I've never had.
Well, I guess most of you should've guessed by now that I'm the only child in the family; which explains why my parents really devote all their time and attention on me.
I could probably write a book about my mom and I, but since it's Father's day, I guess I just have to give my dad the limelight this time round. (Sorry mom, I still love you! Hehe.)
I used to be so close to my dad that he was actually mistaken for my boyfriend several times before. Hahaha. I know that sounds absurd, but trust me that I'm not lying!
It's like, we could head to the cinema to catch a movie, go for a swim and even share the same bed. (s.l.e.e.p) All of these without the presence of my mom, just my dad and I.
I've lived in a 2-room flat for the first half of my life, and subsequently my dad slogged his ass off in order for us to live in a better environment, even though we're just a family of three.
We moved in to my current home when I was about 7, and I remember how my dad would greet me with a small gift after work occasionally, how he'd grab me up with his arms and kiss me on my forehead.
Unfortunately, as I grew older, we grew apart as well.
You know how most of us have that rebellious teenage phase? Yeaaaaap, that's right. I had mine pretty early. Lol.
Disappointments over disappointments. I wouldn't say I've committed the worst sins in the entire world, but I'd say I did enough to break my dad's trust for me once, for a really long period of time.
Things got really tense between my dad and I, to an extent where I didn't wanna come home bcos I had no idea how I should face him.
I broke his heart, and I broke mine too. (Let's just take a moment and play the tune of Christina.A's Hurt while we re-read that line and allow that feeling to sink in.... Ok kidding.)
I'm not proud of all the things I've done, and it took me quite awhile to learn and realize my mistakes.
I've hated him, said the nastiest things that I don't really mean, hurt him and betrayed his trust so many times before. However, no matter how incorrigible everyone thought I was, despite the uncountable number of times he claimed that he has given up on me, he never did.
Just like any other ordinary man, he's a bit of a chauvinist. (Dad pls don't kill me when you see this, but I know you won't cos you love me too much :p) But what I love most about him is that he's never failed my mom and I before. He's been a great husband and a great father.
He's the kind that takes notice of the little things that I say, and the casual remarks that I make on the things that I wish for, then does or buys them for me. Yet, he appears to be indifferent and faintly aloof on the surface at times.
He can be a little too blunt sometimes, and say things that I don't wish to hear, but now that I'm pretty much accustomed to that, I really appreciate all the little advises that he gives. In fact, I'd rather listen to un-sugarcoated words than to know that he's patronising me.
I know that we probably won't be able to return to how close we were in the past, but I'm glad that he's just like my best friend now.
Some recollections of the past...
Teaching me how to build sandcastles!!!
How you held my hand to feed the little lambs bcos I was so afraid to even pat them. (Did I just made a rhyme?)
How you used to drive to some random field to play my fav ball-game with me.
How you'd always accompany me to take the rides that I want bcos my mom hates to.
I'm aware that I haven't been able to spend quality time with you even though I've always promised to. I'm also aware that I haven't been the best you've ever wanted me to be even though you claim that to you, I'm always the best.
But I've never stopped trying.
You'd wake up way before your work time just to send me to school everyday. You're always at my beck and call, regardless of how busy you are at that moment. You'd stay up till 3am in the morning just to comfort me over the phone when I was really down in Hong Kong. You'd never scold me even if I've failed my papers just bcos you don't want me to be disheartened. You'd always protect me. You'd secretly pay attention when I tell you about my cravings, then buy them for me the next day. You'd send me long texts just to remind me how much you love and care for me.
Most importantly, you've always loved me unconditionally, and that's why I love you dad.
You know how as we all start to grow older, we don't realize that our parents are actually ageing too?
We tend to take our kin for granted, thinking that they'll always be there, but people will all end up leaving eventually. That's the awful truth.
It's funny how when I was still a child I used to want my dad around wherever I went, then I grew older wishing that he never existed, but now I'm back to realising how dear he is to me.
I believe we've all heard countless of advises on how we should cherish those people who are always sticking around us, but I know that sometimes taking someone who cares too much for granted is rather inevitable too. I guess you've to lose what you have in order to realize what you miss.
I told my dad that I was afraid; I fear that if my mom and him were to ever leave me before I get married, I probably won't be able to survive on my own. I'm really afraid of being alone, and as much as I think that I'm independent, I actually rely a lot on my parents. A lot more than I think I actually do.
Dad, I'm not exactly sure if this is gonna be your ideal Father's day gift, but on top of that, I know that I wanna do well and succeed one day to be able to provide you an even better life just like how you used to when I was a child.
I think you'd rather that compared to like...... a Mont Blanc watch right? I'm sure you don't want me to spend that unnecessary money...... (Haha or maybe not :p)
I know actions speak louder than words, and I'll prove it to you that your years of effort won't go in vain.
Whatever it is, thanks for being so forgiving. Thanks for watching me fall, but at the same time taught me how to stand tall. Thanks for taking in and accepting all my flaws. Thanks for being so patient towards me. Thanks for being the best dad in the world.
I love you. (And I know you love me too)
Father's Day shouldn't be the only day that you decide to be filial, it's just a special day to show extra love to your dad and do things you've never done before.
Cos just as important as your mom, you wouldn't be here without your dad too.