Please Stop Leaving.

How many more people are gonna continue....
walking out of my life


I don't hate life. In fact, I'm quite optimistic about it.
But I'm really tired of people coming into my life, then gushing out time and again. And every time, it just happens suddenly; No explanation, no farewell, it just ends.

Ignored, replaced, left out, forgotten, used. I bet all of us felt at least 3 before, it sucks isn't it?

I believe we've all either faced, are still going through or are about to go through this phase of life, when you start to realize even those who promised you "forever", leaves. Promised you that they'd be always be there, leaves. Promised you that despite whatever happens and they will never leave, leaves as well. Haiyaaaaa, like what everyone says "Promises are meant to be broken."

It just seem like a norm. It's like, you start knowing someone... Maybe through facebook, through friends or somehow just some weird telepathy brought you guys together. Then start texting, hanging out, watching movies, going on dates.... and *BAM* someone new enters, and you're erased. FOR. GOOD.
Don't you hate it too? And maybe till weeks or months, until they need a favour or sort... WOAH, suddenly your power of invisibility disappears and you're "remembered" once again. 

"Oh I promise to call you back later!" You wait... Hours... Days... Weeks passed... It NEVER happens. I mean WHUUUAAAT?! What exactly do you mean to some people right? You feel like a loner, you feel like once these bunch of heartless people leave, your life is screwed.


People leaves you out. For some reason, your clique just goes out without calling you along and sadly, that's not the end of the story. The next meet up, they all start engaging in conversations that you can never ever be a part of, you're lacked behind... No matter how hard you try to say something, you're ignored perpetually. And your existence slowly fades away; Upset. Rejected. Angry. Disappointed. 

You know you've tried, you've once tried staying in someone's life so bad that it makes you feel like some pathetic despo... But it just seem like, your efforts always ends up going to waste. It's always in vain. Because regardless of how much you've tried, you just end up feeling like the white shitty crayon between all the beautiful colours... Nobody wants, nobody cares, nobody even bother to give their least attention to. Have you? Have you felt it? I did. And it officially SUCKS! To the core and beyond~

Apparently I believe that no one likes to incessantly put in the effort to stay in someone's life. No one likes to be an option. No one likes to be remembered as someone's entertainment, "Hey hi haven't spoken for quite awhile." "Yea, what made you remember me all of a sudden." "Nothing, bored." GOD, It's like waaaaadafuaaaack.

Sad to say in life, there are friends who will secretly dislike you, gossip about you, lie to you, leave you out, replace you & even forget you.

But well, this is just part and parcel of life. Probably everyone has to go through it. UNLESS... I don't know, you're born like a f*cking gorgeous piece of gold that everyone wants and never in your life you'd have to go through pain like this. SAD FOR YOU, because I think even if it sucks, these are still lessons in life that we should face to make us stronger!

Not every "I'm sorry." is exchangeable with an "It's okay."

I really know how it feels when you're unfortunately born with a not so appealing appearance and it seem like all the good looking crap people who thinks that "WOAH. You're so ugly, fuck off, you're not welcome in our clique." just sadly exists in your life, and you feel so unwanted and inferior. For once, you really wish you were born with awesome features. Isn't it?

They say, "Appearance is not important, what matters most is what's under the skin." OH PUR-LEASE. That's. Complete. Bullshit laaaa. Seriously, out of 10 people, I think at least 9 will judge you by your looks. Be more realistic... Indeed, looks are superficial and never lasting things. As you age, you can't possibly maintain your beauty either. But too bad, HUMANS ARE JUDGMENTAL.

I've never thought I was pretty enough, smart enough, cool enough, tall enough, attractive enough. I've never felt good enough for anyone.

So anyway, I'm not some aunt agony or whatsoever to heal your wounds nor do I think I can help everyone solve their problems in life... But my advice is, whatever it is you just have to persistently try your best to remind yourself that, you're beautiful in your owns ways, (I sound so corny.) and that you have to just find new friends if you realize that you're trying too hard to stay in someone's life. Someone that doesn't isn't bringing you happiness at all.

I mean back to my favourite line "WE ARE NOT BORN TO PLEASE EVERYONE." Your mom didn't spend years raising you just to get you to make everyone happy in your life and cause your own to be as miserable as shit. If you're born to be nice, or you have a timid character... Afraid to offend people... You just have to speak your heart out to them nicely. I've learned the hard that you really have to be honest and tell your friends how you feel... Bottling it up will NEVER solve the problem; It's just a temporary solution. OKAY?!

If you already tried talking to them... And they still fuck care you, then HECK la! Find new friends. LOL. There are billions of people in this world, don't let a small handful bring your life down darlings!

Ya la, I know, I know there are some friends that you just never wanna lose... But they walk out magically and just vanish into thin air within a split second. Sometimes, with no reasons at all, they just start distancing themselves from you... And sad to say, some people will never care even if you were the one who left, cos from the start perhaps you don't even mean much to them at all. And isn't that the point? Why waste time on people who doesn't care about your existence? Simple la, if you wanna continue to stay in someone's life, don't complain and dwell on your misery. Cos you've a choice to move on.That's about it... I hope I managed to help some people unknot the tenseness in their heartsssss. He he.

Really, I don't mind trying my best to make everyone happy. But I'm just wondering if anyone would do the same for me?

This part is dedicated to my ex-bestfriend. (You can skip this part and proceed to my camwhores if you like! Don't complain that I'm writing too much.) Hey dear, I don't know if you'd ever read this or even drop by my blog anymore, but I want to take this opportunity to apologize to you. Honestly, I guess you think that I probably don't give a fuck about you anymore, but deep down I've always been affected that we actually drifted and ended up this way now. Until this point, I still hold this hope in my heart that you will speak to me and we could salvage this friendship again. I don't know, you were someone in my life that I've never wanted to lose... And you just don't know how much I'd beg in despair just to have you back in my life. I miss you. If you ever see this, I sincerely hope we could speak again. I'd always be here for you. Love you. x

BTW I NEED TO RANT... The stupid unremitting rain is seriously annoying... Buay tahan.
Spoiling all my awesome outdoor dates. HATE IT. But not gonna care, shall get out and practice my longboarding now. Cya muax!

Some webcam pixs with my babies! x