5 Reasons Why You Can't Move On Even Though You Should

Sometimes, it's just so hard to move on. Yes, it feels miserable with him, but it feels even more miserable without.

1) Giving up on everything when he's in your life.

I guess this is the biggest mistake most of us tend to make. We literally give up on everything for the person we love. Our social life, our family, school, work, even the things we love doing... And the list goes on.

Whenever there's free time, he pops into your head immediately. You don't even think twice, you just want to spend every single moment with him. 

AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

Don't give up everything for him just because at one point, you think he's everything to you. Because when he leaves, you're left with nothing.

The issue with most of us these days is that we get so overly attached to who we are dating, and we feel uncomfortable even if we haven't seen them for just a day.

It's important to always make time for yourself and other things in life. He can still be your priority, but don't ditch everything for him. If you've plans with your friends, go. If you wish to spend time with people, do so. 

2) You're stuck with the idea that you'll never find another guy like him.

Just because he was great, it doesn't mean you can't find someone better. Stop holding on to that thought and stop convincing yourself that no other guy in this world would possess similar/even better qualities.

Remember, you guys broke up for a reason. If it didn't work out with him, what makes you think another guy like him would?!

You will find someone who suits you better eventually.

3) You miss the way he made you feel.

Do you miss him or do you miss the way he made you feel? These are two completely different things, so don't get yourself confused!

You miss being treated with affection, being wanted and needed.

Thing is, just like trying to quit your coffee habit, you may feel weird without your daily fix for awhile - But you'll eventually adapt and get used to it.

Don't try to fill that void by getting a rebound. Instead, focus on bettering yourself. You probably once relied on him to feel good about yourself, now it's time to love yourself without him. Surround yourself with positive friends and start doing things you love again!

Don't take it like it's the end of the world, take it like it's finally time for you to pamper yourself again :) 

4) You think you're unworthy.

Stop thinking that way! I don't know how else can I emphasise on this, but don't put the blame on yourself for his departure/the breakup. Sometimes, some people are just not meant to be together so don't be too hard on yourself.

5) You think you're never gonna love someone else the same way because you're so in(l̶o̶v̶e̶)fatuated with him.

Many a time, you don't really feel great about yourself until this guy starts showing crazy interest in you. You think that "wow I'm finally wanted." And that makes you feel great about yourself so you start clinging on to this unrealistic image of him, thinking he's so perfect and it's such a dream come true that he actually likes you!

Which is bad! Cos even if he's toxic, you would continue to keep him around because you're afraid to lose him (or this feeling). And soon you'd start to notice that you're so obsessed with the idea of him being around, cos "what if nobody else likes me the same way he does?" 

You don't love him dear, you're just infatuated.

Don't depend on someone else's love and validation to find love within yourself. You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself.

I've been through this so many times and I definitely understand how hard it is to move on from someone who once meant the world to you, but honestly, have you looked back on a breakup and thought to yourself how great your life is right now? Time could really heal all wounds if you allow it to.

Breakups are common, heartaches are inevitable. Just know that these regrets and mistakes will make you into a better and stronger person.

What's meant to be will be. <3

We broke up

I actually contemplated really long before I decided to do this and I'm sorry it took this long, but trust me it wasn't easy.

So there has been crazy speculation that JianHao and I ended things and I decided to clear the air today cos I think you guys deserve to know what exactly is going on.

I know we've never publicly announced this, but we were actually together for more than 1 and a half years and I'm aware it isn't a remarkable duration but it was my longest and probably one of the most serious relationships I ever had; which meant a lot to me and will always be kept close to my heart.

The reason why we've never talked about it openly was because we had a mutual agreement that it's better to keep things on a low key to prevent any unnecessary drama but it's funny cos you guys still managed to find out anyways... But then again I think it was pretty obvious too lol.

As most of you are aware, we were already friends for about 2 years before we got together and I must say that my previous relationship before him really shattered me and even when I was dating JH, it was hard for me to get over the last guy. But he stayed. He pressed on despite my insecurities, my past and my uncertainty.

He helped me grow to become a better person. He was always there as my pillar of support and strength and he never once got complacent.

It took him 6 months and 3 rejections before he managed to win my heart over.

It's such a shame that I'm only sharing this amazing story today, but in all my years with several other guys, I've never seen anyone who was able to treat me the way he did.

The graciousness, the compassion, the security, the assurance and the love he gave me were unconditional.

I believe I did my part too and I made sure everything he did for me was reciprocated with sincerity.

However, I guess like any other relationship, everything starts to fall apart the moment you love - because inevitably, expectations start coming in, your emotions are heightened and everything that was once a privilege becomes a need.

Gifts are no longer special, they become a necessity, being there for your other half becomes a commitment.

Falling in love is easy, but staying in love is hard.

It's sad as you watch your flirty msgs turn into nothing but daily, routined questions. like "where are you?" "have you eaten?" "are we meeting?"

I mean yes, the honeymoon period has to end somewhere somehow and it really takes both parties to maintain that spark and stay driven to work things out in a relationship.

The moment one party decides to stop trying, the relationship would start to deteriorate and eventually that's how people break up, separate or even divorce.

Everything was perfect between the both of us, or at least during the first year but soon it got boring and strenuous as work got in the way.

80% of our relationship was propelled by work. Work, work and lots of work.

He started his business late last year during my assessment period and we started arguing a lot due to our clash in schedules. We both felt compromised as our priorities shifted.

We still managed to work it out eventually but more and more things got in the way.

We got a puppy (Buncha) together early this year and she was a blessing, but it also made us fight a lot more and as responsible owners, we had to stay home more often than usual so gradually, we stopped going on dates and stayed home most of the time. We started to run out of topics to talk about because we saw each other every single day.

It was kinda bad because the only thing that kept our conversations going was work and it became pressurising as it becomes a challenge finding new things to talk about every single day.

We knew meeting all the time wasn't the right thing to do to our dying relationship but it was so habitual and we felt uncomfortable whenever we were apart. 

So yes, it might have been boring but it also made us feel comfortable.

All the perfections you once saw in that person or relationship start turning into doubts like, "is this what I wanna live with for the rest of my life?" "am I gonna stick with this and not have fun anymore?"

So eventually I realised that all those so called perfections are not exactly perfections, they are only perfect because people choose to see those imperfections in a perfect way when they are in love with someone.

I guess if there were two things I regretted they would've to be 1) not separating work and my r/s with him and 2) for meeting him so often because that indirectly caused us to grow apart.

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming everything on these two factors because I had my wrongs and parts where I failed to perform as his girlfriend which I will be completely honest about today:

Firstly, I saw someone else for awhile last year when our relationship was at a pretty rocky stage and I felt like he wasn't giving me the love and attention I needed due to his busy schedule. I begged for him to stay and he forgave me, so I cut all contact with that guy. I fought hard to gain his trust again and we were okay for awhile as we tried working things out after we spoke about how we both felt. However, I guess we never really got to the root of the problem and the last straw for him was when it happened again a week before he decided to call things off between us.

As mentioned in the earlier part of my post, the relationship started to go downhill and more problems arose, we could hardly hold a conversation without getting into an argument and conveniently, the same guy spoke to me again. So I met him and JH found out eventually. I know this is not the point and as long as I have the intention to hide, it's cheating but there were no physical contact between us (Just to clarify.)

I ended things off with that guy and this time, it was a clean slate. In case you were wondering, that guy and I were never serious about each other and I guess I was foolish for indulging in the thrill of it without thinking of the consequences. I'm not gonna push the blame to anyone, because whatever I did was wrong.

JH and I did try to salvage things after he heard my explanation, but I knew I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't forgive myself for whatever I did and I couldn't bear the thought of hurting him again.

Being with him was one of the best things that happened in my life and even if I were to meet someone else, I doubt it'll ever be the same.

I'm 19 and I gave up a lot to be in this relationship, fun, friends and a casual teenage life... And I guess I'm not entirely ready to give that up at this point in time.

He's 22, looking for a stable relationship and probably a potential wife who would be willing to settle down with him in the years to come.

Am I ready? I don't think so.

And I don't think it's fair to hold on to such a great guy just because he's the ideal one for me.

So yes, we broke up and it's been 3 months since we did.

It's a huge pity and I'm sorry if this is going to disappoint many of you because the relationship you perceive to be "perfect" is not perfect after all.

Behind all the glamour are two humans scraping through their lives.

It's sad because once upon a time it was, "all i want in my life is you." and when things don't work out, "please get out of my life."

It was a wonderful journey and I'm glad to have known so many of you, I'm glad we grew so much together and I'm glad it ended now than later.

I hope all of you would respect both of our decisions and allow us to have the space we need.

Anyway, it has come to my knowledge that he has moved on and found someone new recently and it does hurt, but I'm happy for him.

Don't worry, we are still friends and we still care for one another and we will still continue to make videos - but I'm sorry if you won't see us appearing in each other's videos anymore or any time soon.

I'm sorry we can't continue to be your weekly source of happiness but thank you for all the support you've shown over the last two years.

"Someday, we'll forget the hurt, the reason we cried and who caused us the pain. We will finally realise that the secret of being free is not revenge, but letting things unfold in their own way and own time. After all, what matters is not the first but the last chapter of our life which shows how well we ran the race. So smile, laugh, forgive, believe and love all over again."

Till next time guys. xx

I'm not a quitter.

I feel miserable. I hate falling back into this state of misery. Everyday, I wake up feeling aimless in life, with no more goals, no more passion and all I look forward to is drinking over the weekends - At least it numbs the pain for several hours. What has my life turned into? I don't know, I'm lost. It's been awhile since I last felt this way and it hurts every time I close my eyes... I feel like giving up.

---

Just in case you were wondering, everything you read above was what I wrote about a month ago and I guess I've been a lot better lately.

I've already written a script for my next video which will kinda answer your questions to why I disappeared over the last 3 months, so I won't dwell too much on that in this post. I just needed this post to assure you that I'm not quitting and also, this is a glimpse of what the video is gonna be about. 

Shit happens in life and often times, we didn't choose for it to happen and there are just way too many things which are not within our control. Falling in love isn't a choice, falling out isn't as well. You can't control if you suddenly meet someone you and think you'd spend the rest of your life with them and then realise after days, months or even years that he or she isn't the one for you.

Sometimes you just have to take a few risks, get hurt a couple of times, fall down and get back up just to know the right things to do.

I made a lot of mistakes but I'm proud to say that I don't live with much regrets, because I always tell myself that I'd rather try and fail than to give up midway not knowing what I could've gained or lost.

I miss writing, I miss sharing with you guys how I feel about the littlest things in life, but I worry too much - Too much on every slightest thing. What if my posts channel more negativity than positivity, whether my posts are good enough, whether this or that...

Then I gave it some thought and realised that it shouldn't be about how good I write nor how optimistic I am - It's about being who I am and staying true to you and myself.

I've been trying to find myself over the last 3 months and I lost some people in the making. There were so many moments I wanted to give up but I thought of how far I've come and decided that it's not worth it to give up now.

You guys are probably gonna witness some changes over the next few months and hopefully, these changes would eventually define the person I am.

I may not be the most flawless person you have ever come across, I don't take the perfect picture, I don't have a meticulously curated feed on Instagram, I may not be your wcw or so called goals, but I'm definitely not a quitter either.

As the hackneyed old saying goes, "Where there's a will, there's a way." I may not be "there" yet, but I believe if I want it bad enough, I will work my way towards it.

A month ago I was a few buttons away from closing down every social media platform I have and vanish for good, but here I am today updating this space. With that being said, I hope you won't give up on whatever you want so badly in your life as well.  Good luck xx