Untitled.

/
This isn't the first time I'm actually feeling this down, but it sucks because everything took place over Christmas eve and the actual day itself. I hardly share much about my personal issues online, but I feel desperately in need to share how I feel right now.

I always remind myself that true friends are hard to come by, and especially with my social status... I'm more than grateful to those who are still with me until today. What's the point of having five thousand friends on Facebook, when I probably can't even name 5 people who I could confidently call my true friends.

Disclaimer - As much as I think I'm really pathetic, I'm not writing this in exchange for any of your sympathy, but I honestly can't think of anyone to speak to at the moment... After all, it's Christmas, I'm pretty sure no one would wanna spend this joyous day listening to my rants.

Besides, I hate sharing with people just cos I hate it when they feel obligated to listen. I hate being a burden.



I would never dare to title myself as "the greatest friend" anyone could ever have, but I'd blatantly claim to be when it comes to you.

Sometimes, I ask myself... How forgiving could one ever be? I've no idea who could've accepted you for the things you've done, the same way I did for the past couple of years.

I'm not here to act all magnanimous, neither am I writing this make you feel bad, so I think there isn't a need to talk about the things that happened in depth.

The only thing I have in mind right now is the question, "why?"

I don't understand, why am I still here until today.

Time and again, I convince myself that you've been a really good friend just because you will try your best to be there when I need someone to talk to, and that you're still here despite my status. 

It's not my intentions to weigh it all out, but this time I got slapped in the face by the cold, hard truth... Maybe anyone could be there when I need someone to talk to, so after all, what's so special about us?

For years, I hear people like you telling me the same old line, "You mean so much to me, I can't afford to lose you." Oh, really?

What have you done out of utmost sincerity, to make me stay? Do I really mean that much to you, or are you just saying it for the sake of patronising me?

I always tell myself that maybe I'm expecting too much from some people, maybe I'm putting my own standards of how a "good friend" should be, on them. 

It's like, I know if it was me, I would do this and that for them, but when they don't... I feel disappointed.

Then again, I don't really think I'm expecting a lot from you. After all the things I've done for you, I've never asked you for anything than a little time and commitment.

I've never mind the fact that you had to share your time between me and your other friends, I'm cool that you can never be able to give me your undivided attention...

But even when you're with me, it feels like you're only physically around, your mind and soul's wandering off.

The worst part is, I've kept mum about it for so long, but this time round... It was my breaking point.

I love you so much that I'd never wanna put you in a position where you'd have suffer the pain of having to pick one out of the both of us, but in my head, it feels like I already have an answer.

I'm not exactly assuming, cos you've proven me right countlessly.
We're so over that phase, there's no need to go all "unfriend you" and shit, but I've came to a point where... I'm starting to question if leaving would make me happier.

I've never wanted to, and I've perpetually told myself to stay bcos of those few reasons, when I probably have a million more on why I should leave.

I'm the kind who'd rather stick with the same old person for years than to find someone new and start all over again, I'm really afraid it might've reached a point where you're irreplaceable.

I don't need your apology. Like I said, I'm not writing this to make you feel bad, but this is how I truly feel.

-

Sometimes, we choose to stay just cos we're so afraid we can't find someone else like that particular person, even though it's killing us alive. However, maybe it's only when you leave, where you realise how much better your life could actually be without them, and be able to find the real you back, just cos you kept trying to change yourself while you're with them.

I'm sorry I don't have many friends, I'm sorry that's why I get easily attached to people I'm close with even though I try my best not to, I'm sorry that's when I'll start to give you my best and hope you'd stay for good, I'm sorry I can't accept it when people I love leave, I'm sorry if I'm not good enough even after all that I've done.

You know, the worst part of feeling upset is perhaps wondering if the other party bothers as much as you do.

This is so devastating.

-

Anyway, from this, you guys can probably conclude that I didn't have a really good Christmas, and therefore have no pictures to share.

I really hope all of you enjoyed yourself though. Love.

P/s I'm talking about two friends here, one in particular... In case it sounded like I was talking about a guy I'm dating or sort.

Carrislabelle

/
Kickstarted the day with a great meal at Ah Dong Teh House @ 10 Tebing Lane. It was already 2 by the time the both of us met, and I was dead famished.


Aug ordered a Pineapple Fried rice, whereas I had their chef-recommendation, Luncheon Meat N' Egg noodle. If you don't already know, I'm a sucker for eggs. Feed me with eggs alone and I'll die a happy girl. Haha, kidding. 


Food was served not long after we placed our orders. Most of them are below SGD15.

Would say it's a pretty decent fast-food cafe to fill your tummies without having to wait for too long, and a place to head to when you wish to chill at night or have supper on weekends.

Address: #01-03/04, 10 Tebing Lane 
Phone: 62410309 
Hours: Mon - Thu: 11:00 - 23:00 
Fri: 11:00 - 02:00, Sat: 09:00 - 02:00, Sun: 09:00 - 23:00 
Neighbourhood: Punggol


Finally had the opportunity to visit the Lalang Field in Punggol. And to our dismay, there were slight drizzles while we were on our way there. Thank god it was only passing showers, and it wasn't long before the sun appeared again. So here's what I wore!


Top - Carrislabelle
Skirt - Nastygal
Boots - ZARA


So for those of you who haven't heard of Carrislabelle (previously known as Ilovecupcakes) - It is a young, cheerful and sophisticated brand that caters to young ladies and adults. The idea of the brand Carrislabelle came from its owner, named “Carris” and a French word La Belle which means “beautiful or lovely woman” in English. Every woman deserves clothing that best represent their style, and they hope that you will find yours in Carrislabelle.


I didn't wanna pair the Lace bustier tube with the usual denim bottoms or skater skirts, and wanted something a little more sophisticated instead. Since I picked the one in cream colour, I thought it'd go well with a bottom that has vibrant colours.


Depending on the occasion, you could play around with boots, flats and pumps to give the final look a different feeling to it.




I love the subtleness of the lace details on the bustier.


The back's really stretchable, and I must admit that the bustier's made of pretty good quality.




Some of my accessories I've used to adorn the entire look.


Had a really great time shooting there on Saturday and thanks to Aug for helping me out. Thereafter, spent the rest of my evening with the Gushcloud family for dinner at One Fullerton. Will update y'all more on my next entry!

Before I end it off, here's another top I chose too! Haven't had the chance to wear it, but here's what I'm planning to pair it up with.


Do check out Carrislabelle 's pretty and affordable outfits! Don't forget to quote "NAOMINEO" to enjoy 5% off all purchases! (Valid till 15 January 2014)

Use this opportunity to get your New Year and Chinese New Year outfits at discounted price! ;)






Times have changed.

/


Times have changed.

As much as the title speaks for itself most of the time, this post is probably not exactly what you expected it to be. It's more of my perspective on what BGR's like, amongst us teens these days.

I've always wanted to talk about this, but I've never felt this eager to write it until today. It's like this burning urge that perpetually prompts me to do so.

Right, let’s cut to the chase.

.

.

.

Teens today are more likely forced to face sexualised information at every turn compared to what it's like 10 years back.
From TV, media, magazines and peers, sexuality appears to be a popular topic that contributes to our daily conversations. To an extent where so many are starting to disregard their values as the issue on sexuality arises.

It's hard to keep abreast of what's going on nowadays, because of the complexities of our contemporary society. It's all about doing the "in-thing" and being up-to-date now. Traditions and beliefs? How many teens of this century actually bother?

So anyway, what I'd be touching on today would be things like - The expectations on what majority of us have versus what's it's really like in reality and the speed in which people are getting in and out of a relationship.

EXPECTATIONS.


Most common problem? Setting your expectations too high. Not sure if it applies to everything, but expecting too much from someone could easily be one of the most heart-rending problems on earth.

Ever been in a situation where you stayed up all night, just to wait for his/her call, but they didn't call? And it's not because they've forgotten to do so, it's just that you expected them to, but the call never came.

Or a situation where you spent a crazy amount of time and effort to surprise someone, but their response wasn't what you expected? 

All these are signs that you're expecting. And as the old saying goes, "The greater the expectation, the bigger the disappointment." 


Sad to say, that's probably the case more than half the time. As humans, it's only normal to expect something from someone you've given the world to. Whether you expect them to reciprocate through words or actions, you're still pinning your hopes on them that they'll react the way you want them to.


 
Girls - We are rather notorious for having this tendency of contradicting what we say. Yeah, it's undeniable that the things we say don't usually reflect how we truly feel. 
Guys - Male chauvinists? I guess it's nothing new that guys don't even wanna express how they feel at times, especially when pride and ego comes in the way.
 
However, there's something we both have in common. Fear. 
 
Through personal experiences and what I've garnered from my peers, I'm aware that sometimes the key factor that acts as a hindrance to "speaking your mind," can simply be due to FEAR.



As a girl, we are more likely to be vulnerable by nature, it's not surprising to know that many of you (sometimes even myself) are fearful of rejection. Of course, it works the same way for some guys.(OK, I can't speak from a guy's pov, but this is what my guy friends shared with me)
For instance - You're expecting the other party to make the first move to text you, but when they don't... You naturally assume it's because they don't bother.
May be the case, but always give them the benefit of doubt - Who knows? Fear might be holding them back. 
I mean, I've been lucky (or rather unlucky) to experience both situations before. And I understand that, it's hard not to feel unimportant. 
Similarly, I could strongly empathise with how it is to be afraid. Afraid of not receiving a reply, afraid that the reply would be something you might end up being like, "I wish I didn't send that msg!" or a reply that might make you feel worse from what you're already feeling before.
Unfortunately, I feel that the only way to solve this is to stop worrying so much. I live by this thinking, "I'd rather do something I'm dying to do, and fail, than to live with a regret of not even trying." Yes, it sucks! It sucks when you've to face failure despite all the effort you've invested.
 
However, you'd get over it eventually. Cos you know you've tried. On the contrary, when you don't try at all, because of whatever reason that holds you back... You might have to live with this "What if I actually..." thinking for the rest of your life.
Fact is, worrying too much won't help solve a problem. Anyone could make the first move and the both of you could easily be conversing away. Yet half the time, people expect and worry too much... Who benefits at the end?
 No one.
You'd just end up making yourself feel miserable for the opportunity you've lost.
Don't just sit there and wait for happiness to come knocking on your door. After all, we usually won't cherish the things that come to us easily. If you want it, earn it, do something about it.
Continue allowing your fear to hold you back, and you will NEVER be able to attain what you pine for. 
Learn to stop expecting. It's something I've to learn to. It's really tough, but you've to realise that every one of us function differently. 
If you love someone, do things for them unconditionally. Of course, for the right person. If that person's just being a douchebag, and takes advantage of you... KICK THEM IN THE FACE. Kidding.
Point is to express how you truly feel. Honesty is the first most crucial step in sustaining a healthy relationship. Every little lie counts.
RELATIONSHIPS.

BGR could easily top the charts for being one of the social ills which is prevalent in this society today.
Before I start, let me share with you a bit on my relationship background.

I've been in and out of several "flirtationships" ((n) – A social situation that comprises more than a friendship, but less than a relationship), but I'd only consider two of them a legit relationship.
Not that I wasn't serious with the rest, but I excluded them only because I felt like it wasn't "real" for either one of us.

I'm really sensitive and sentimental. I'm probably one of the overly-attached girlfriends when I'm in love, and I take really long to forget someone even when it's over.

Sometimes, you can date so many other people only to realise no one's as good as that special someone. 

And when I mean good, I don't just mean whether they fit your standards or not. They can be a million times better, but it's funny how you still choose to love that one person.

Love isn't blind. You actually see those flaws, but you choose to accept them.

Love isn't about changing someone. I've been the girl who's always hoping to change the guy I'm with, but if I'm trying to change him, doesn't that prove something?

That maybe I don't really like him for who he really is after all.

Sometimes, you think you love someone only to realise that the only thing you enjoyed was that ambiguous relationship you had with the other party.

That phase is the sweetest.

Anyway, I hate the process of getting out of a relationship, I hate crying myself to sleep for nights, I hate becoming more insecure than before, I hate it when I lose my friends just for someone and when he leaves, I'm left alone. I hate the pain of moving on, I hate watching the other party move on, I hate wishing he's still not over me, I hate wishing there's a chance of us getting back together.

I hate the whole process of learning to trust someone new, I hate how guarded I am towards everyone after every breakup. I really hate going through that sh*t.

So after having to go through it so many times, I learnt to never get into relationships hastily.
That being said, it sickens me how relationships are treated like a game to many people of my age in the recent years.

I definitely not a relationship expert, nor do I claim to know everything about love, but one thing for sure... No matter how many dates I had previously, I've never ever get into a relationship UNTIL I'm really certain of how I feel towards the other party.

The word "love" is badly abused by so many of us - I never understood how "I REALLY LOVE YOU" can come from a person who only gotta know you for a couple of days.

Of course, there is chance that people might indeed fall in love with each other within the first few times of meeting up, but that's not what I'm talking about.

To have a stable relationship, I personally feel that you've to build a really strong foundation. (Unless you're not looking to settle down.) Remember those days where it's always that same old process - From strangers, to acquaintances, to friends and then to lovers?

Seems like that's no longer the case. Everything escalates so quickly these days. Couple of chats, meet-ups... *BAM* steady, *BAM BAM* broken off.


It's crazy!

I always thought relationships were special, but what's it like now?


As much as it's a positive thing how technology does wonders these days, it's ruining so many traditions too.

Relationships these days are so much harder because of how conversations are made through texting, feelings are expressed through our updates on social platforms...




Tell me, how many fights and misunderstandings today are caused by all these indirect updates online? Stop writing your feelings down on Twitter, hoping your partner sees it! You've a phone, you've their number... Text/call them!

-

And due to how exposed all of us are to the Western culture, we tend to forget our values. I really hate how conservative we can be at times, but there's only so much you can do. As much as you'd love to walk out of the house without a bra, YOU CAN'T.

As much as you'd like to share about your sex-life with your parents, hoping they'd be open about you, YOU CAN'T.

As much as you yearn to make out in public, YOU CAN'T.

I've noticed how influenced my peers are towards all the Western values, talking about sex and whatsoever openly on Twitter... I'm definitely not trying to say that it's a bad thing. In fact, it's rather unpreventable in this society we are in today.

However, I'm just so upset to see how majority of the relationships now could only last for weeks.

You see them whining about how much they love and want someone for a week... Next thing you know? They are with someone new.

It's sad to see how people can get into a relationship, claim to love the other party, and still cheat. Stop being selfish and greedy. You can't have the best of both worlds, call it off if you can't stay faithful.

Works the same way for girls.

-

What I've to say to the girls,



For the guys,

Last but not least,
 Love isn't sex


Which boils down to the last thing I wish to address - Respect.

Besides, trust and honesty, it's important to always have mutual respect for each other. 

 Girls, respect his privacy. Yeah, if he has nothing to hide from his phone he shouldn't be afraid, but that doesn't give  you the rights to check it without his permission.

 Guys, respect her body. If she feels like she's not rear, don't force her. As contradicting as we can be at time, when we say "NO," to these kinda things…. We mean business. 

 Don't offer your body to the guy you love, if he only offers his love to have your body. 

.

.

.

Anyway, since we're on this topic… I thought some of you may be interested in something I've found out about recently. 

Clicknetwork.tv is casting for their brand new reality show!

This is definitely a rare opportunity for those of you who have always wanted to be a part of a web reality series :) 
And hear this; you will also stand to win $8,000 cash! 


  To those of who are mugging for exams, or  the people who are preparing for school… this is a good reason to take a short break from all the studying! The show promises to be fun and educational. Best part of it? You will also meet new friends! 

Registration closes on the 10 of January 2014, so do sign up now if you are interested! @ http://bit.ly/1hXZA7P. 
You can also register directly by emailing your name, age and mobile number to casting@clicknetwork.tv. 

Good luck! & I hope you guys learned something from today's entry! :)