Superwoman.

Dying on the 3rd day of school. Every single tiny particle in my body is freakin hell filled with fatigue. Thankfully it was a short week, and it'll be Friday in less than 2 hours time. AMEN. 

I've no idea why, as I grow older I start to lose my interest in school. Apparently because it's really boring, and everyone around me seem to change drastically after every time they return from a long holiday. Some became more mature and some of them distanced themselves and drifted away from me. Glad that my clique is still staying strong despite being together for years already. 

I mean it's weird how people that has been surrounding your life for so long, can suddenly change over a short period of time... Some into better ways, whereas some from bad to worst. Saddest part is when those who used to be your "BFF" or whatever shit, turns to pure strangers with you... And every time you walk pass them, flashbacks fills your mind. At the same time, it acts like a reminder that eventually everyone's gonna leave your life. Sigh.

When I was young, I can literally cry in despair being a kid thinking how boring a kid's life is, and yearn so badly to grow old; having the mentality that being a teen/young adult was the best thing that can ever happen... And now that I'm turning 16 in 20 days time, I beg to differ. Although as time elapsed, freedom increases... I get to hang out more and all... But seriously, so does the restrictions. At least when I was a kid, committing stupid and silly mistakes were forgivable and understandable... Now?! I'll probably get SCREWED BIG TIME. 

Now? Every blunder leads to a huge mess and gets us to hell sooner or later. On a side note, do you realize we have this tiny devil that lives in us? *Nah it's not horror time.* It's like, whenever you do something, one side of you tells you it's WRONG, and your "devil" side tries to psycho you into carrying out that sin. OR wait a minute, is it just me alone? 

Usually your good side has to be strong and determined enough to fight over the bad side... And if you're probably the kind who gets influenced easily and gets knock over with a few simple words... Meh, you're gone case like me, sometimes.  You'd be easily led astray.

Ok, I think I went far too off my initial purpose of writing this entry. -.- Whatever it is, if you're still young... Enjoy your days ahead. Don't regret, like how I'm starting to... A little. Haha, I wouldn't say I regretted my past, because honestly I felt like I've sorta lived it to the fullest over the past few years in my secondary school life... With all the troubles I've gone through, all the stupid things I've tried doing... Maybe my only worst mistake was channelling my attention to the wrong things/people, when I could have took that wasted effort and use it on my studies instead. 

Last year in my secondary school, and I hope history won't repeat itself again... Even though my first 5 days of 2012 was already pretty f*cked up, I keep my fingers crossed that things will turn out to be better. Positive mindset switched on.

PS: Totally looking forward to spend my Saturday out. 

All the best my darlings. Love!

Ending off my main post with an....... ugly picture of me for you to compare how I look with and without make up. HAHAHAHAHA. AND YES, if you realized my hair is f*cking shit black now. LOL. Damn.

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2012 Doomed.

HAPPIE 2N0E1W2 YEARR!!! 

Another stupid entry... I mean you guys said I should just update regularly regardless of what I've to say right.... So serves you right for reading all the random shit I've to talk about. 

DANG. Have yet gotten the batteries for my external camera's flash... And all the recent pictures are pathetically taken under my kuku table lamp. Embarrassing much.... I totally need a ring light!!!! Who wants to buy it for me?! Ok I'm just kidding. But seriously I effin want it, but don't wish to fork out the ke$ching for it. This is the fucked up side of me.

So anyway I spent my Friday with girlfy at Tampines first, we went to chill and walk around in T1. Honestly I think Tampines is one of the stupidest place which I can only survive there for at most an hour. If I exceed it, I'm probably too broke to go anywhere else or too bored and lazy to travel further. But but but, I like to chill there. Contradicting I know.

The second half of the day was completed with Fiddddyyyy. Meh.

 Caught Darkest hour. And I totally think that you shouldn't be deceived by the movie's poster like how the both of us did... I mean admit it it looks like some dope shit movie. The both of us almost fell asleep in the theatre. God dammit. OK LAH, I'm exaggerating a little. It's not thaaaaaat bad, rate it 2.8/5 I guess.

I bet first you'll be thinking where the heck is this, next is since when did Singapore had sucha chio place...... It's PASIR RIS PARK. lol. Isn't it like freakin gorgeous?! 

So yea, we went to the park to chill. Had fun! Anyway have you guys ever heard of the rumours about the "maze" in the park? Louis told me that the place is haunted. What scares the shit out of me is that the place is totally pitched dark in the night, NO LIGHTS in that entire area at all. Having the chills now?! Cos I am. I'm like thinking of it now and my goosebumps are literally forming already.

BUT after my grandmother story... Conclusion is... We didn't go in. Because that ass chickened out. *Pushes blame.* Hahaha! Dying to try it some time. 

Pweeedyyy boiiiiiboi. ♥

Failed quality pix taken by that boy. Hahahaha!

As for Yesterday, I spent three quarter of my day at home and headed out for countdown at Marina in the night! AWESOME time. (Not really actually) My whole day was pretty screwed up by loads of problems, but I must say I really did enjoy my time at the countdown. My companies were great I guess. *winks*

So how about you guys?! Had the time of your lives?! 

Despite all the crap, I did! Luvin every bit of it. He he he.

Sorry for the effin bad quality pixs... Like I've mentioned earlier on, my flash died on me...

About one to two more days till school starts. Sucha dread. The thought of it is killing every single atom in me. I swear I'm really not looking forward to all the preparation for O's... Although I can't wait for it to end, and get out of my damn school.

Shall end this entry off with 10 new year resolutions (random order):

1) Score well and get into poly (Cannot be distracted by love and shit like the past two years again.)

2) Gain more readers... (I hope people won't get sick of reading my stuff, I'm afraid ok!!!)

3) Spend my time in 2012 wisely. (I don't wanna regret in future.)

4) Have a memorable sweet 16th Birthday. (?Open party?)

5) Have more friends! (To be precise, less haters actually.)

6) Dad and mom to stay healthy. (Dote me more. Muahaha)

7) Find a stable bf. (???????Maybe???????)

8) Have less problems... (There's never an end to my problems.)

9) 2012 not to be end of the world!!! (I don't wanna waste my time studying.)

10) Erm.... Stay happy. (I ran out of things to say...)

& Just in case I can't blog before returning back to school, study hard guys! x

Sticks N Stones.

Just another jerk, just another lie, just another guy I thought I could trust, just another time I thought forever could last.

Have you ever felt like you're really on the verge on crying, you feel so empty in the stomach, a little chill surrounds you with the goosebumps, you bite onto your lips, you try not to speak because you know another word will cause those tears to start forming within the white corners of your eyes... 

And you're like, "Please, not now. Don't cry now. Keep the smile. Don't think about it. Some people are not worth it." But you just couldn't help it but to let those tears glide down the cheeks of your face. It hurts. You need a hug. I feel you.

I don't understand how can some people claim that they "love" you for a day, and then ignore you for hours the following day. How is it possible?! I mean I'm not sure if it is, but to me... Ignoring is sucha torture, I can't even stay mad at someone I LOVE for more than half an hour. And some people can possibly just disappear for hours and hours and hours..... 

Hanging there in agony. Especially when it comes to bedtime, the pain starts to grow from within, like a million times deeper. All the questions starts to pop up and you have no idea how to give an explanation to any. There's nothing you can do except drowning yourself in the saddest songs that relates to your situation, then allow those negative thoughts to invade your brain.... *BAM* You start crying again. You don't wanna think about it, you tried avoiding it the entire day, but it just won't leave your mind at ease, it just creeps in naturally. And the worst thing is falling asleep half way while crying, then waking up the next morning having to go thru the same phase again. 

Losing you wasn't part of my plan, my perfect story was suppose to have a happy ending.

Seriously, that's how painful being ignored is. It's not that bad knowing that someone is busy, sleeping or maybe just didn't had the time to give their phone a check. At least that's just frustrating, not in fact hurting. But if you know that they actually used their phone, like you catch them tweeting or updating their facebook statuses, whatsoever... You know you're no longer that strong enough to say "Never mind, I'm okay." 

Is ___ texting someone else? Is ___ mad with me? Is ___ having a really fun conversation with his/her new company? Is ___ gonna ignore me for good? Am I gonna be forgotten soon? Am I being replaced? You just uncontrollably fill your mind with every pessimistic thought you could think of, booom boooooom boooooomz, perpetually into your mind like a machine gun. 

Why do you have to do this to me? I find myself really foolish but I just can't help it, I can't help it not to think about you, think about what's wrong, think about why the heck you're not speaking to me, why the fuck we're like strangers all of a sudden. What are words if you really don't mean them? "Love" without actions is just complete bullshit. Don't tell someone how much you love them, don't promise them you will never leave them, don't swear and cross your heart you will never hurt them... If you know you will eventually.

They say actions speaks louder than words, but sometimes just words alone kills us all. Thanks for faking it all, thanks for pretending all these shit, thanks for making me believe all your so called promises that turned out to be lies, thanks for bringing me where I am now, realizing that it's really tough to trust someone again, thanks for all the hurt, and thanks for fucking up my life.

If you don't want me now, I won't want you later. 

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Sorry for the supa long rant/nonsense. So this is me when I'm feeling supa emotional. Haven't been posting such stuff for quite some time. But whatever. The post above is sorta like a combination of all my tweets. Yea, sometimes I'm not just quoting. I'm really feeling it or I really felt it. Don't worry, I'm fine after pouring it all out on this space.

No pictures spam today! Didn't take any pictures... Went to Ikea to get some new furnitures for my two rooms, gonna do a makeover to it! Hehe. will take pictures of them once I'm done! Till then. I love you all. x